Mother

Being here is one of the greatest things I have ever done.  But it is also one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I am going to have this blog turned into a keepsake book for Phoebe.  I feel that I must, then, tell all that is happening so that it is recorded for her because, even though this is so sad, it is such a huge part of this trip.

Before leaving my grandmother told me that no matter what happened that I must go to China.  She has not been doing well.  She said that I must go and stay and not postpone this trip or return early from it.  She said it was her heart's desire for me to come here to get Phoebe, her final wish.  She made me say "I promise".  Leaving America was the hardest thing I have ever done, and may ever do.  She said she would promise to try her hardest to wait so that she could see me home safely and to meet her granddaughter.  She is trying, but she may not be able to.

I am suffering here in China.  I am always with her, always talking to her.  I love her so much.  She loves my children dearly.  She is so close to Cassidy, Macky loves his "Muv" so much and I will make sure Phoebe knows her, even if she doesn't get to meet her.  I will tell her that she was Mother's last wish, her heart's desire.

I am going to continue on here in China for her.  She told me that this was one of the few places she never got to visit and to see and experience all I could.  She has told me not to worry, to not let this ruin my time here in China with my new baby girl.  I will go on every day as I promised to. 


I need to hug my grandmother again.  I need her to touch Phoebe. 

Please, if you pray, pray for my grandmother to hold on 6 more days.  If you think good thoughts, think of us.  If you believe in wishes, make one for me, for Phoebe.  Pull out all the stops, everybody.  I need all the help I can get.