Forever

We have been home a week.  Phoebe fits our family perfectly and she is loved by everyone. 

She was scared and overwhelmed at first and we took things slowly.  She bonded with Matt quickly, likes to play with Cassidy and is trying to figure out Maclean.  She looks around often to make sure I am still there.

She caught a cold a day after coming home and that, combined with the all the newness of people, smells, sounds, etc. she withdrew a bit.  Still some smiles and giggles, but not as many as in China.

She got to spend the afternoon with Micki yesterday.  She showed how comfortable she was with Micki by crashing out the entire time.  I am happy they got to see each other and spend time together, even if she only slept.   Micki said she seemed so different than she was in China, quieter, more unsure.

We said goodbye to my grandmother yesterday.  I got to the funeral home before the rest of the family and spent some time with her alone.  I thanked her for so much, said sorry for not being home, and talked with her for a long time.  I told her how much we will miss her, how much my children will miss her.  I told her how I promised she would stay alive in them and me and that Phoebe will know her well and how significant she already is in Phoebe's life.

We buried her next to my grandfather in Graafschap Cemetery.  I picked up Phoebe and Maclean from Micki's house and brought them with us so that we could all be together for a final goodbye.  It was a beautiful ceremony.  During a quiet prayer and many tears, Phoebe chose to come out of the little shell she had built since coming home.  She began to clap and bounce and smile and laugh.  I tried saying "Shhhhh" in her ear and occupying her.  But she did not want to be quieter, just happier.  I thought to myself that this was the first time that Mother and Phoebe were together and Phoebe was the happiest she had been since arriving in America.  I could not continue to cry, no one could. 

Today we honored Mother with a gathering at Freedom Village.  It was a celebration of her life as there is so much to celebrate.  She gave me, her only grandchild, the best memories and love that I could ask for.  She was very loved in return and forever will be. 

Goodbye, Mother.  You were my best friend.  Welcome home, Phoebe.  You are a gift, a treasure to our family.

Our family is complete.  Cassidy.  Maclean.  Phoebe.  All prayed for in different ways.   All prayers answered.  All together forever.